The Hotwife’s Perspective: Why I Love Cuckolding My Husband

While my husband has explored the topic of cuckolding in previous articles in great detail, I thought I should approach the subject from a woman’s point of view.  There are a lot of men and even some women who visit this blog who are very interested in this topic.  Some are currently indulging in cuckolding as a fantasy, while many others want to broach the subject with a partner, but are unsure how to do it, or they are afraid of a negative reaction to it.   Hopefully, this article will be helpful for those of you who want to discuss the subject with your partner.


How The Subject Came Up:

When Steve finally accepted his small penis, it opened up a whole new world of sexual possibilities for him personally, and for us as a couple.  He became intrigued with cuckolding.   The problem was, despite the fact we have very good sexual communication; he neglected to tell me about his interest in this topic for almost two years.  In his defense, there were two primary reasons why he didn’t come clean about his fascination with cuckolding.  First, he didn’t understand the power cuckolding had over him or even his reaction to it.  It began for him by fantasizing I was having sex with a guy with a big cock, and then he would become aroused, and have an explosive masturbatory orgasm, and subsequently feel guilty.  This cycle repeated itself over and over again.  Second, he was worried about my reaction to it.    How does a guy admit to his wife that he fantasizes about her having sex with a guy who has a bigger cock and is better in bed?  How will she react?  Will she view him as sexually weak and less manly?   So, while I was upset with him because he withheld this interest from me, I understand why he did.

My Reaction To Cuckolding Steve:

What was my reaction to his admission he fantasized about cuckolding?  While I did understand what cuckolding was, I had never really given it much thought until my husband confessed his interest in the subject.  To be honest, my initial reaction, much like most women, was I was very concerned.  Steve satisfied me sexually and I had no interest in having sex with other men, no matter how big their cocks were.

But, while my initial reaction was to say no and I did, I wanted to learn WHY it appealed to him so much.  I believe a lot of women who heard their husbands express this interest would shoot it down, and say “End of discussion.” To those women, I would only suggest that you think about your husband/partners strong reaction to it, just don’t discount it on face value.  It’s not going to go away just because you disapprove of it.

Steve shared with me excerpts from the book, “From Housewife to Cuckoldress, How I Took Control of a Marriage in Crises,” by Alex Hathaway.  I say he shared excerpts, because he only read the excerpts online because he was too timid to buy and download the book, thinking I might have an adverse reaction to it.  So, while he was sharing those excerpts with me, I downloaded it so he could read the whole story, and he was surprised and turned on that I did that for him.

Another eye-opener for me is when we took the erotic personality inventory from:  Your Erotic Personality: Identifying and Understanding Your Sexual Self,” by Sage Vivant.  While my erotic personality is much different than his, Steve’s results indicated he was a cuckold.  The remarkable thing about the results was we didn’t even know ahead of time that there was a cuckold personality type.  In discussing our results, we both realized this was hardly a scientific determination of our sexual personalities, but we also both knew they were true for us.

So, what to do?  I could bury my head in the sand and pretend my husband didn’t have a cuckold personality, or I could suggest he use the results for his own masturbatory purposes only or…perhaps there was another alternative…maybe a way we could incorporate his cuckold personality into our sex lives and just have fun with it. (Good idea!)

Our Solution:

It took really good communication from both of us over several months, but we were able to create a cuckolding fantasy world. It was through these very erotic discussions that led him to write the article, “A Woman’s Guide to Creating a Cuckolding Fantasy World”  This is a very extensive explanation on the subject, and I highly recommend any couple who has an interest in exploring the fascinating world of fantasy cuckolding, to read it for ideas and suggestions on how to do it. I decided I wanted to find a way to incorporate his fantasy into our sex life.

My Education on the Subject:

I love learning about what turns people on sexually.  I have been particularly fascinated to learn about cuckolding and why men find it to be a fascinating subject.  A lot of men, indeed, I think most men (regardless of penis size) have wondered at one time or another what it would be like to see their wives engaging in sex with another man.  How would she respond to another man sexually, would he be able to pleasure her better than he could, would she have more explosive orgasms, are all questions men ponder.  If a man has a small penis, his curiosity is even more pronounced.  How will she respond to a man who has a longer and thicker penis?  Every man with a small penis has pondered this question.

While I don’t profess to be an expert on the subject, I have been fascinated by just how many men with small penises have an interest in both, small penis teasing and cuckolding.  Though men of all penis sizes engage in these activities, I think men with small penises are much more likely to have an interest in them.  I also believe this interest is much more common than most people realize.

I also have to admit that until my husband kept bringing up the issue of cock size, it really wasn’t all that important to me.  But, what I have learned is my husband really does have a small penis.  I have talked to a lot of men who have 5-6 inches and are craving this, is it really any surprise my husband with 4 inches wants it?  Not really.  An often quoted sexual therapist described the correlation of cuckolding and penis size this way:

“Among my patients, husbands with smaller penises were not only more agreeable to being cuckolded, but would even sometimes suggest it. These very enlightened, lesser-endowed, husbands were keenly aware of their inability to satisfy their wives sexually.” 

Many men and women who are currently practicing fantasy cuckolding can identify with this statement. I’m maybe in the minority because my husband can satisfy me even with 4 inches.  But, in his mind, he wonders if I could be better satisfied with a thick 7 or 8 inches.  For me, that’s part of the fun.  Keeping him guessing as to what the answer to that question really is.

I have also been fascinated to learn just how many women have fantasy cuckolded their partners already.  They seem to fall into three groups. (1) Those women married to guys who don’t even have a small penis.  For example, “J” and “D” from this blog are prime examples.  “J” has a good sized 6 ½” thick cock.  “D” loves to tease him about her larger ex-boyfriends, and “J” loves it and loves the fantasy cuckold implications.  (2) Some women are married to guys who have small penises who cannot satisfy them sexually (very common).  For these women, fantasy cuckolding is a very safe alternative compared to the risks of doing the real thing.  (3) Fewer women married to small endowed men are sexually satisfied by their partners. (I’m in this group)  For us, even though we are satisfied, our husbands still crave to be cuckolded, and in our case, I’m only too willing to provide him with that craving.  The bottom line is, a lot of women are doing this and just having fun with it.  It doesn’t mean they don’t love their partners; they are just fulfilling a major fantasy of his.

What if You Don’t Fantasy Cuckold Your Husband?

So, women reading this might ask this very question.  Well, obviously the choice to engage in fantasy cuckolding is a decision only a couple can make.  If the man expresses interest in it, my advice is to at least talk with him and find out why, and what turns him on about it.  After all, a fantasy cuckold relationship is a very safe alternative.  One thing I have learned is a man’s interest in this is not going to disappear just because you’re unwilling to engage in it with him.  What he will do is seek out other avenues to express it.  This may involve cuckold phone fantasy conversations or internet chat room discussions with a woman who is only too happy to be his “cuckoldress.”  Do you want him to engage in his fantasy secretly, or do you want to come along for the ride?  There is a phrase I have seen which is at the heart of his fantasy, “Once a cuck, always a cuck.”  This speaks to the power of being a cuckold for the man.  This isn’t a phase he is going through, he fantasizes about it constantly.

Why I Love Fantasy Cuckolding My Husband:

The primary question of this article can best be answered by saying I love it because it excites the hell out him.  Nothing has ever turned him on like this does.  The fact I can provide him an unmatched level of sexual excitement is a major turn on for me.  Plus, the reality is my husband is a cuck.  He knows it and I know it too.  But another major advantage to it is he no longer has to hide his cuckold personality or be ashamed of it and feel guilty.  Instead, he can be who he really is sexually.

For Steve, like many cuckolds, the primary trigger for his arousal is the belief that I need, or deserve a bigger cock than his to satisfy me. To fulfill this fantasy, we have incorporated larger dildos (Johnny and Eddy) to recreate the “large cock boyfriends” into our sex life. The more I remind him that he has a small one, and suggest, hint or flatly state that I prefer a larger one, the more aroused he becomes, and the more eager he is to prove me wrong.  I have discovered that the more frequently I remind him of this; it serves to keep him in a heightened state of arousal.  Who would have thought it would be so easy to keep your husband aroused, while at the same time enjoying the benefits myself?  🙂

My husband asked me an interesting question the other day.  He said, “I know you would never do it, but does the fact that you could engage in real life cuckolding any time you want turn you on at all?”   I think I surprised him when I said of course it does, and I wasn’t just saying that for his benefit.  I think therein lies the excitement for me in providing him with fantasy cuckolding.  There is something about the dynamic that is exciting.  While I would honestly never do it, I don’t mind if he thinks I might eventually be tempted to try it.  In fact, the more I remind him that his fantasy may become his reality, the better.   A little mystery and intrigue may keep him on his toes.  🙂

Lastly, this has not been a one-way street either. There are many other benefits that I have realized as a result of fantasy cuckolding my husband.   In his article, “A Woman’s Guide to Creating a Cuckolding Fantasy World,” Steve listed many of those benefits which I tend to agree with.   To summarize them here, I love the fact that he considers me his “Hotwife” and he will do anything to pleasure me in and out of bed.   This is something I enjoy and he is much more focused on me, and our relationship is dynamic, fun and exciting.  What’s not to like?

I (we) would be interested in hearing the perspective and experiences of other men and women.


Do you have any thoughts about this? Please write me a comment, or contact me via my about about page.

You can stay tuned by liking my facebook page or following me on twitter.

As a reaction to several mails I got, I published a 110 page book: “How to begin cuckolding” – I put all my experiences in this book, starting from 0 to become a successful cuckold…





  1. Dear “hotwife”
    if I may call you this..
    Being Cucked is my hottest fantasy by a country mile!!
    wife might freak if I brought it up.. but I love fantasizing about it..
    how best to tell her please:))))))))
    thank you


  2. I found this fascinating, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this matter


  3. I needed more cock so we adopted a large dildo Mr. Carmel. We had no plan for a cuckold relationship. It just sort of happened. It is not a fantasy. I feel in love with his 8 x 5.5 inches after years of my husbands teenie peenie. Mr.Carmel dominates. Hubby loves to help me fuck him. Hubby wears him in our strap on around the house. The visualization of Mr. Carmel between hubbies leg is awesome. Mr. Carmel is huge. I can’t believe how easy he fits in me or how magnificent he feels. Weird but hubby can’t orgasm unless Mr. Carmel fucks me first. He needs Mr. Carmel as much as me.


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