I have recently been engaged in a fascinating discussion with one of our female followers on small penis related issues. We have talked in-depth about a wide range of issues, and I explained to her that I have been working on a concept for some time now, that I refer to as a “Small Penis Relationship Continuum. I would like to attempt to describe this concept to those of you who are our followers, and then let you weigh in on what you think about it.
Definition: To begin with, we need a definition of what a Small Penis Relationship is. For me, I would define it as follows: “A relationship where the male’s real or perceived small penis size, or even the fear of having a small penis, is acknowledged and embraced in the relationship. I say real or perceived because there is no “size requirement” to be in such a relationship. Many men of average and even above average penis size can and do enjoy this kind of relationship.”
Fantasy/Reality Continuum: The fantasy-reality continuum is critical to understand how this relationship was established. This is especially important in the beginning when the “small penis talk” is held: depending on where the male partner falls on the scale, and on how truly important this is for the female, the talk will have very different challenges and develop unique patterns toward a balanced solution for the couple. The talk then lies the groundwork for building the specific “small penis relationship” that fits for the couple. If it’s real for both, the point of balance will require tactics of compensation. If it’s real for him, but not important for her, the SPT activity will be focused to serve his needs and have the “edge of truth”. If it’s not real for him, the SPT will have a special edge too – the edge of “vulnerability”: you’re admitting this topic matters to you; even if you’re not small, you’re showing yourself vulnerable to your partner.
Thus, once the “small penis relationship” has been established, regardless of whether it is rooted in fantasy or reality, it then becomes important for you and your partner to find your comfort zone in it. For example, for some couples it may be strictly a fantasy based relationship. While the male may have a small penis, it is not the sole focus of the relationship, so their choice of activities are more fantasy driven. For another couple, they may be in the center of the continuum and may look at it like their relationship is part fantasy but also part reality based as well. And for other couples, at the far right of the continuum they may look at their small penis relationship as completely reality based. So what they decide to do is based solely on the reality that the male in the relationship does have a small penis. Thus, this continuum may look like this:
Fantasy Based→ Part Fantasy/Part Reality Based→ Reality Based
Frequency Continuum: Similarly, there is also a Frequency Continuum, which is a punctual description of how often penis size drives sexuality within a couple. It tells us some about how the “small penis relationship” is, in the here and now. For example some couples, especially for those whose relationship is more fantasy based, they may engage in small penis related activities only occasionally as a break or interlude from their “normal” sexual practices. Other couples may engage in these activities more frequently, but not all the time. But for those couples, especially those in a “reality based” small penis relationship, they may engage in small penis activities all or most of the time. This continuum would simply look like this:
Occasional → Frequently → Permanently
The Pervasiveness Continuum: There is also a third continuum which ties together both the fantasy/reality and frequency continuums together. The question to be answered is, how pervasive is the small penis theme in your relationship? Is it the one and only theme (with plenty of expressions, ranging from role play to dildo play or cuckolding), or is it one theme among many? For example, perhaps the small penis theme is one of two themes in your sexual repertoire, with the other theme being “regular” or romantic sex in which there is no focus on penis size at all. In this case, the small penis theme is just one out of two, and thus it “competes” with only one other “rival” source of sexual excitement and attention for the couple. For another couple, they may have three or more sexual “themes” garnering attention and interest for the couple. So in the Pervasiveness Continuum, so frequently is the small penis theme prevalent in your relationship? Is there:
Occasional Focus→ Frequent Focus → Sole Focus
So, when you look at these three continuums and the variables in each one, you can clearly see how many possible combinations and variety there can be for a couple in a small penis relationship.
A Cascading Menu of Options: Whether you are in a fantasy based or reality based small penis relationship, and regardless of the frequency and pervasiveness with which you engage in these activities, there is a “menu” of options you have to choose from. So, imagine if you will, having the following “drop down” ala carte menu of potential activities:
|1||SPT/SPH comments that are more mild or subtle “hints” that the male doesn’t measure up|
|2||SPT/SPH comments that are more direct and open|
|4||Being Outed by your wife or partner where your fully erect size is stated|
|5||Self-Outing – where you go the gym, a nude beach, etc., and out yourself, (but your soft size leaves doubt about your fully aroused size)|
|6||Cock or Dildo Comparisons|
|8||Sloppy seconds – which is taken to mean you go second after your wife has been pleasured by a larger dildo, or it can also mean going second after performing oral sex on your partner|
|9||Orgasm Denial occasionally – perhaps just once in a while|
|10||Orgasm Denial for a sustained period of time (1 month or more)|
|11||Withholding Sex– perhaps just once in a while|
|12||Withholding Sex for a sustained period of time (1 month or more)|
|14||Female-Led or Dom-sub Relationship|
|17||Real Life Cuckolding|
Even within these “activities” there are options. For example, some couples may choose not to use dildos at all, while another couple might choose to use them 25-50% of the time, and another couple might opt to use them all the time. It’s the same thing with everything else on the list. You and your partner decide what options you like, which ones you don’t, and how frequently you want to engage in any of them.
Let me try to explain this overall concept with a couple of examples. The woman I have been corresponding with is awesome. Her husband has a very “average” cock size, but he mustered up the courage to explain to her that he would like SPT. While she was admittedly a little apprehensive at first, she really appreciated his willingness to open himself up and be vulnerable to her. So, they began engaging in SPT from more of a fantasy based position and only occasionally. From the “drop down” menu they have dabbled in a few things but seem to enjoy the light SPT and role play scenarios. For them, they acknowledge that they are half-way between fantasy and reality. On frequency, they are clearly on the occasional end right now: but this changes over time. And finally, on importance or pervasiveness they’re again in the middle: it’s not their only sexual theme, but it is one of two and it occupies at least 50% of their mental space. In fact, given that the alternative is often “regular sex,” this theme gets more thought and attention from them. For them, where they have “landed” in the continuum is the perfect place for them.
For other couples, they may be more in the middle of the continuum in that their small penis relationship is part fantasy/part reality based and they might engage in activities in a more frequent but still not permanent basis, and they may also be in the middle in the pervasiveness continuum. They may also have a more exhaustive list of activities they engage in, but there may still be some that hold no interest for them at all.
And finally, there are also couples like me and my wife who are on the right side of all three continuums. For us, our small penis relationship is grounded completely on reality and is a 24-7 lifestyle. We also have engaged in most of the activities on the “Drop Down” menu and enjoy them all.
The other point I want to underscore is there are options, plenty of options for couples to choose from. There is no right way or wrong way to have a “small penis relationship” or what it needs to consist of, because it is solely up to you and your partner. Wherever a couple lands on these three continuums, and as long as they are both in their comfort level and traveling parallel paths, a small penis relationship can be defined how you want to define it and then hopefully, you can just have a lot of fun exploring it together.
What do the rest of you think? Where do you fit on the Small Penis Relationship continuum?