Hello everyone. I’m Steve’s wife and “introduced” myself in an earlier post. Though I rarely have the time to contribute to it, I have been following along and reading his articles and all of your comments with great interest. I have always been fascinated with how people view all aspects of sex and how it affects their relationships. As a result of all the dialogue, we have had many exciting and erotic conversations about various topics.
Just for the record, like many of the female followers and contributors, I would describe myself as an alpha female. I would like to add my two cents
worth to the ongoing topic of penis size. As the title of this article suggests, I’m going to approach it from a different perspective than some of you,
but I think it’s a perspective with no less merit.
My Personal Views on Penis Size:
The size of a man’s penis has never been that important to me personally. Unless it was of some extreme size on
either end of the spectrum, it really didn’t matter. Now, this may come as a shock to some of you guys, but to be completely honest, I personally don’t care what the “world or national” average is. I never have and never will. It’s almost as if there is some attempt to establish an artificial
definition of an “acceptable” penis. Speaking of which, one thing I always find humorous about guys is why they feel compelled to add that extra 1/8 or 1/3 of an inch. Will any woman’s decision to sleep with you hinge on a fraction of an inch? I doubt it.
Does my husband Steve have a small penis? You know the interesting aspect of this question for me is he has never felt small to me. He has always
felt perfect for me. But, for you statisticians out there, according to the “world or national” average, yes he has a small penis. But, I think the main
reason why he doesn’t feel small to me is because I’m small down there too, which is why I think we are perfectly matched. All I know is, my husband satisfies me in bed and yes, I do have orgasms and plenty of them! I love his size, the shape of it and how responsive it is. So, yes, I will admit it, I love my husband’s small penis. There, I’ve said it.
Mistakes I Made:
In retrospect, there was a time in our marriage where Steve was very insecure about the size of his penis. He had been in a
number of relationships with several women before me who had told him his penis was too small to satisfy them. Even though I tried to reassure him that he was perfect for me, I know he wondered deep down whether he was or not. I realize now after the fact, that my typical talking points, of “You don’t feel small to me,” or, “You’re perfect for me,” were not very helpful for him at the time. Instead, I probably could have, or should have been a little more proactive in encouraging him to talk more about it, to see if there was anything I really could do to help remove the fears and self-doubts. And when he did talk about it and want me to acknowledge his small penis, I felt it was a form of humiliation because I didn’t feel it was small.
Sex: Before & After His Acceptance:
Let me digress for a moment and talk about how I view our sex life, which I think is another indicator of size satisfaction. For the first several years, we had great sex, and were eager to explore and tried things including toys, videos, etc. Then, like a lot of couples who have been married for a long time, we found ourselves in a sexual rut. After some great counseling we found that our troubles stemmed from personal insecurities associated with Steve’s past sexual history. It’s like our relationship did a complete 180. Everything and I mean
everything changed for the better. The first thing I noticed was his eagerness (and willingness) to share his innermost thoughts and even his sexual
fantasies. As one of the female contributors said, and I will agree with this comment 100%, when your husband has complete faith and trust in you and is willing to share his innermost thoughts and fantasies no matter how kinky, it’s like a huge “mind fuck”. He is essentially giving you the keys to unlock his sexual kingdom and come inside and play! What woman would not want that from her husband? Those of you who have not been inside your husband’s head to that degree don’t know what you’re missing. But ladies, share what’s inside your head too! 😉
Revelations, Discoveries and Lessons Learned:
Our personal and sexual growth in the last few years has been remarkable. We have learned things
about each other that were previously hidden or were the object of fantasies only. Here are just a few examples:
We have discussed at length our sexual personalities – thanks in large part to the fascinating book Steve has already referred
to about identifying and exploring your sexual personalities. He has the personality of a cuckold and a sexual submissive. This is a part of him that
remained hidden in his sexual closet. I’m an alpha female, who also prefers to be sexually submissive at times. But, we can both be “flexible” and
can be dominant or submissive at times which can actually be great fun to flip roles. Just understanding this sexual dynamic was very important for
us. His willingness to open up about cuckolding allowed me to feel free and “safe” to express my interest in going to a Swingers Club, not for the sex,
but more out of curiosity. And we did go, and although it must have been “weight watchers” night at the club, it was still titillating to experience it,
and we might even go again because it did lead to great sex later. 🙂
Here is another example of open sexual communication. Steve had always thought that “all women” wanted incredible endurance when it came to sex. But, I’m very orgasmic, and so I tend to cum quickly. In addition, he provides me with many orgasms even before penetration, so I’m ready! LOL. One of the female contributors mentioned that it really turned her on when her man came quickly because it demonstrated how turned on he was. I’m of that same mindset and love the fact that he is so turned on he has to cum quickly! It’s a turn on, rather than a turn off, for me too!
He loves the incorporation of dildos, the comparisons, the teasing and being sexually challenged. He also loves the
idea of me being an “insatiable” wife. The one thing that is very obvious to me is just how much of a turn on this fantasy is for him. It’s very, very
obvious and smoking hot to me!! 🙂
One thing he said to me is, when a couple first meet and are dating, the guy acts a lot differently because he is in a way “competing” for you with other male suitors. Once the marriage ceremony ends, the “competition” for you ends because he has won the prize and that can mean less focus on your partner. I have to confess that I really, really like his renewed focus on our relationship and the fact is, we’re both getting more out of it. So it’s a complete win-win. So we have really, really had a lot of fun exploring our sexual relationship and it has really improved by leaps and bounds. In bringing this back full circle, while my husband may have a small penis on some “national scale” or in the view of some women’s minds, it really doesn’t matter to me because he (it) is perfect for me. I love him and his “small” penis! 🙂
PS: Feel free to ask any questions you like, just be patient with me responding!