I have covered a lot of different topics on this blog. Some are just my “inspired” ramblings, and some are questions raised by followers. Some are serious, some are light hearted, but all have something to do with having a small penis.
I was re-reading some of the blog comments the other day and I was struck by how many of us have had counseling or therapy in an attempt to deal with our size insecurity issues. So, I was “inspired” to write this article because I wanted to explore it further.
How do we face our inner demons created by our size insecurities?
Sadly, many of us feel like there is little or no help for us. I mean think about it, who can we really talk to about it? Talking about penis size is taboo, and it’s very uncomfortable to talk about. I doubt you’re going to call your best friend and say “Meet me at Starbucks to talk about my penis over tea and muffins.” Regrettably, many of us feel like we can’t even talk about it with our spouses. So the result is the emotional roller coaster continues, and we may experience depression, anxiety, shame, anger, guilt and all of those other negative and destructive emotions –and all over something we simply can’t control. We feel trapped in a cage with our “little” problem.
We remain conflicted. We hone in on any signal from women about whether or not size matters. It’s like a tennis match with the ball bouncing back and forth. We hear size matters, and then we hear it doesn’t matter, then it matters, and doesn’t matter, and back and forth we go. We usually tend to discount any women who say it doesn’t matter, and instead, we focus only on those comments from women who say it does matter. We just can’t seem to accept the fact that for some women size really does matter. But, if you think about it, life would be pretty boring if we were all identical and we all had the same preferences. Humans are all different. We have different skin color, hair color, eye color, etc. Some of us are tall, some are short, some of us are thin, some of us are heavy, etc.
A common mistake we often make is we seem to overlook all of our other abilities and attributes.
We could be over-achievers in every sense of the word such as superb athletes, hard workers, great husbands, fathers, and providers, etc. We could even be great in bed and our partners are completely satisfied, yet, we still beat ourselves up daily because our penises aren’t an inch longer or ½ an inch wider. Really? Our penis size isn’t even something we can even control, yet we worry about it incessantly. Of course the reason why we do is because we view our penises as the ultimate symbol of our manhood. If we judge ourselves to be lacking in that area, it can create a lot of negative emotions and great uncertainty about whether or not we measure up.
So, what are our options in terms of seeking guidance or advice? For me, at least initially, the only “safe harbor” seemed to be the Internet. I quickly learned that I wasn’t alone with this problem. Many, many other men felt the same way I did. It wasn’t counseling, but at least it made me feel somewhat better because I knew I wasn’t alone in feeling the way I did. But, while the Internet can provide an opportunity to discuss your penis size with others who also feel shortchanged, there are tons of “Size Matters” websites that continue to feed the notion that you don’t measure up.
But, while the Internet was somewhat useful, I also knew at some point I had to resolve this issue permanently. Finally I mustered up the courage and decided to tackle the problem head on. And when I say it took courage, I mean it took a lot of courage for me to address this issue. So, I went to see a male psychologist, and it was a complete and unmitigated disaster. He didn’t listen to me at all, but instead basically said “Get over it.” As I left the office, I remember thinking to myself, “Thanks for nothing.” I actually felt worse, and I remained tormented for several more years.
Finally, I took another stab at seeking counseling, only this time I went to see a superb female therapist who specialized in sexual issues.
I was a little dubious about going to a woman therapist at first, but my trepidation soon disappeared when I realized that she was very perceptive and skilled in her area of expertise. For starters, she listened. She also asked questions, lots of questions. I can’t remember how many sessions I went to, but when I left the last one, I remember feeling a big sense of relief, because I felt my size insecurity problems and demons had finally been exorcised. I have never felt better, and going to see her was the best thing I ever did.
I can now look into the mirror and acknowledge that I have a small penis, but I like it and wouldn’t even change it even if I could. It’s not a handicap, and it’s not a liability or a disability. It doesn’t define who I am; it’s just a physical part of who I am. I have also come to realize that there are actually many advantages to being the size I am – something I couldn’t have admitted before. I should also mention that I was (and am) very fortunate to have a wife who I could talk to about it, and who has supported me through this difficult journey. We now have a lot of fun with it.
My hope for the guys out there who are still grappling with this issue is that you are able to overcome the negative and destructive emotions related to your penis size and are able to accept your body and embrace your sexuality. Once you do, you will feel so much better about yourself. Life it too short to remain tormented about something you can’t change or control. For the women out there who are married to small endowed men, I hope you are willing to “listen” to your husbands and help them through their journey to self-acceptance.
Just out of curiosity, how many of you guys have been to see a counselor or a therapist? Has it helped? I know some of our readers are still struggling with these demons, and I know they would be very interested in hearing how you arrived at the place where you finally accepted your penis size.