What is cuckolding? What is an alpha male and a beta male?

Cuckolding Explained:

As I have mentioned elsewhere in this blog, cuckolding is one of the fastest growing lifestyles and is becoming hugely popular across the country.  In its purest form, cuckolding is defined as the wife taking on other lovers with the full support and encouragement of the husband while he remains faithful.

If you do any searching for a cuckolding definition or what cuckolding entails, you will find numerous descriptions and definitions. I have provided such a description for you in a previous article on this blog, but I wanted to share something with you that I heard the other day that I thought was fascinating.  I found one of the best and most in-depth explanations I have ever heard about what cuckolding really is and it was presented on blog talk radio by Dr. Sue on her show, “In bed with Dr. Sue.” Dr. Sue is the go-to expert on the psychology of fetish, sex and relationships. She has counseled hundreds of couples who are involved in cuckolding and this counseling hasn’t been with couples who are having difficulty with the lifestyle, but primarily with couples engaging in cuckolding who are satisfied with it.   She spends a lot of time working with couples on trying to reprogram the submissive male mind.  As she says, cuckolding is extremely popular. More and more couples are trying it and liking it.


So I thought I would share this with my small endowed readers and their partners. I have done a lot of reading on the subject and talked to a lot of men and women about it, but I found her explanation of cuckolding to be very insightful and refreshing.  In its purest form it’s really all about wives being pleasured by other men with their husbands full support and encouragement, and their husbands being very turned on by it.  Her explanation of cuckolding can be found in its entirety on blog talk radio at:


I will attempt to paraphrase and summarize what she said here, but I encourage you to listen to this broadcast if you are even remotely interested in cuckolding.  One of the fascinating topics Dr. Sue discussed with great clarity, and one that will definitely interest readers of this blog was the clear connection she made between men with small penises-submissiveness-cuckolding.

In her experience, more often than not, men who are interested in cuckolding almost always have small penises. There are of course exceptions, but generally men who have small penises are more accepting of cuckolding, in fact, they often suggest it. These men also tend to be sexually submissive.

As she put it, “If the thought of watching your wife with another man makes you angry, then cuckolding may not be for you. But, if your heart quickens at the thought of watching your wife being sexually satisfied by another man, you are probably a really, really good candidate for this.”

What are some of the hints that a man might give his wife that he wants to be a cuckold? They often tend to make disparaging comments about their penises. They might make comments like, “You deserve a better dick, or you really deserve a bigger dick.” Or, if he says “I would really like to see you satisfied by a bigger cock.” Or, he might also say, “My dick is too small, or I would really like to see you suck a bigger cock.” These are all obvious hints.  Keep in mind submissive males are intimidated and afraid to tell their wife this is what they want, so if he mentions anything like this, it’s a very good indication that cuckolding is what he wants.

How do women usually react? The first thing women will think is: Why does he want me to fuck another guy? Doesn’t he like the way I fuck? Wants wrong with me? Why does he want to give me away?  Women shouldn’t look at it that way.  He is not telling you that you suck in bed, and he doesn’t want to give you away.  What happens with many sexually submissive men is, they dream of being able to watch their wives being sexually satisfied in a way they could never do it.  Women tend to think, I don’t get it there is nothing wrong with our sex life. It doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with it.

This way of thinking almost always comes with having a small penis.  Since the average erect penis is between 5 ½ to 6 ½ inches, there are a lot of women out there who are “settling” for what they get.  In a cuckold situation, ladies get to have their cake and eat it too.  Women tend to go into “settle” mode when it comes to sex, when they could have the great husband and the great sex.

One of the important issues Dr. Sue pointed out is that women WANT to be ravaged. And if you think about it, at the top of any poll of Women’s Top Ten Fantasies is being ravaged by a stranger. They long to be taken and “fucked.” Not made love to, but really “fucked.” The problem is most sexually submissive males don’t have a snowballs chance in hell to be able to do it. Why? It isn’t who they are. When a sexually submissive guy is trying to be something they’re not, it doesn’t work. It’s glaringly obvious it doesn’t work. Consequently, most women tend to leave this fantasy as a fantasy. But, if your husband has come to you and said he wants to be cuckolded, you can have your cake and eat it too.

It makes your guy hot to watch you. Your guy is watching you get that ravaging that you really want, because he knows he can’t do it the right way or the way you want it. Either because he has a tiny penis, or because he feels inadequate in other ways, but what he really wants is to watch his wife get really satisfied because it turns him on and because he knows he can’t do it.

It’s like a form of penis envy. Guys with average or small penises look in awe at the bigger guys. No, it doesn’t make them gay. It’s because it’s something they don’t have but they are fascinated by them. It’s a sexual turn on for him knowing that this big guy can give his wife something he can’t. Though she didn’t mention this specifically, this is very important for wives of small endowed submissive men to understand.  Men who are interested in cuckolding know instinctively and immediately that they can’t possibly compete sexually with a man who has a bigger cock.


She also pointed out that fucking the dominant alpha male is fine, but living with them usually doesn’t work.  Submissive males are generally much easier to live with.   Cuckolding can be empowering for the woman.  It’s ok for a woman to want hard sex with that 8” guy. It doesn’t mean they don’t want their husband, because they do.  The key is for the woman to learn to cuckold their man without fear or guilt.

As always and as is true in any relationship, the key to a good cuckold relationship is communication. If you do this, the fears that could be there on either side are discussed and put to rest. You must focus on communication and regularly discuss your cuckolding relationship.

She also pointed out that women in general are slacking off.  The sex industry would not be as big as it is if women weren’t as “vanilla” about sex as they are.  If you don’t start branching out sexually, your guy is going to look elsewhere, possibly phone sex, Internet porn, and then will start communicating with dominant women.

Why is cuckolding working so well for some couples?  Because there is no cheating, and there is no lying, all the cards are laid on the table. Cheating is a violation of trust, while cuckolding is an exploration of trust. The cuckold gets to see his princess get the fucking she wants; the alpha male gets the sex he wants, and the wife (the queen), gets to lavish in all the sex and attention. It’s a win-win-win.

One myth she dispelled is that cuckolds are not wimps nor are they losers. Many men who are cuckolds are alpha males all day long and when they come home they enjoy being able to let it go.


Follow-up:  I found Dr. Sue’s explanation to be very interesting and enlightening. I just want to add some additional comments.

First, let me give a word of caution for those who are interested in cuckolding. If you peruse the Internet on cuckolding, you will find all kinds of information.  Some of this information is good, but some is not so good. By the way, cuckolding is one of the most searched terms on the Internet. Unfortunately, for men and women who might be curious about the subject and do any searching, they might be quickly turned off looking at some of the websites out there. Some sites suggest that all Cuckolds should be wearing panties, be locked in cock cages, be complete doormats, denied sex, be bisexual, etc. Though cuckold couples might engage in some of these activities, the bottom line intent of cuckolding is the wives enjoyment of sex with other partners pure and simple. It certainly doesn’t have to include any of these other “activities.” Your personal definition of cuckolding is how you and your partner choose to define it.

Before someone writes in and says sex and love is about more than the size of the man’s penis.  Yes, of course there is.    But the reality is, men who are good candidates for cuckolding love the thought of their wives being fucked by men with bigger cocks.   Many women secretly harbor this fantasy too.  And yes, this article focused principally on small endowed men.   And, while it is true that they make really good candidates, what about the average and even above average sized males?  Can they be cuckolds? Yes, of course. Although for husbands who are better hung and are fully capable of pleasuring their wife through intercourse, the motivation and need for cuckolding may or may not be as strong.  This can be especially true for the wife who may consider cuckolding unnecessary.  But yes, there certainly are men of average or above average in endowment that also enjoy cuckolding.  Remember, if the guy is a sexual submissive, he may be a good candidate for cuckolding regardless of his penis size.  Likewise, there may even be small endowed men who can sexually satisfy their wives, but who nevertheless want to see their wives get ravaged by a guy with a bigger cock.  So, yes, cucks can and do come in all penis sizes.  Their motivations are the same – they fantasize about their wives being taken by other men.

As far as cuckolds being wimps and losers goes, let me add this.  Most of us involved in a cuckold relationship would probably agree that the fulfillment of a sexual fetish is not worth it if the end result is to live in a permanent state of self-loathing or self-denigration.  Being a complete pushover is not attractive to a spouse, even to a cuckoldress.   The best kind of acceptance can come from the realization that we each have a unique role to play in the relationship, one that may not be easy but brings far greater rewards than conforming to a societal role that never fit us.

Lastly, is cuckolding for everyone?  Of course not, nor is this an endorsement of the lifestyle. The intent of this post was simply to try and explain what cuckolding is and why so many people are drawn to it, and the possible benefits that can accrue to those who try it.  An interim alternative for those who are curious about it, is try experiment with cuckolding as a fantasy, which I wrote about in a previous post.  Like any important issue in a marriage, it should be thoroughly discussed ahead of time and agreed upon by both parties with limits set, or you probably shouldn’t even give it a try. Hopefully, this was helpful.

Do any of you have any thoughts or reactions?

Do you have any thoughts about this? Please write me a comment, or contact me via my about about page.

You can stay tuned by liking my facebook page or following me on twitter.

As a reaction to several mails I got, I published a 110 page book: “How to begin cuckolding” – I put all my experiences in this book, starting from 0 to become a successful cuckold…





  1. I have been encouraging my wife to take a hung lover for several years. She has acknowledged that my penis is smaller than she’d like and admitted that she’d like to fuck a guy with a big cock. The sad part is, I can’t get her to act on it. She is content to masturbate and fantasize about the big cock she desires.

    Just last night we were having sex and her orgasm hit and my cock fell out of her pussy. This happens regularly as my 5″ cock is only maybe 2″ inside her as she is a bigger woman. She was very frustrated and even said it ruined her orgasm. I told her if I were a couple inches bigger it wouldn’t have happened. She exclaimed, “I know!”.

    I wish I could get her to actually take on a hung bull and fuck him regularly. I just can’t get her to do it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hmm, quite the situation. How did https://widgets.wp.com/notifications/2905724361#you approach her regarding going out with other men?


  2. Paul · · Reply

    Other question, can i be a alpha bull with a 5 inch cock?


    1. Not for me!


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