How to talk to my husband about his small penis

I have received a number of emails from married women lately asking:  “Is it ever OK for me to be honest and tell my hubby he has a small penis?  


Many so-called experts will say that telling a man that he has a small penis is the worst thing a woman can do to a man.  They say it’s degrading, emasculating and could cause performance anxiety, erection difficulties, etc.   This is no doubt true for some small endowed men, but it’s painting all of us with a pretty broad brush.
I think the better answer is it depends on the man and the situation.  In most cases, I think men prefer honesty from their lovers.  After all, most of us who have a small penis have already realized this fact.  Of all the men who have small penises, there are three basic types:

1. Those men who are ashamed of their small penis and utterly paralyzed by the thought of being called out by a lover. (These are the men the “experts” are correct about)

2. Those that are not ashamed of their penis and never will be.

3. Those men who are aware that their penises are small, and aroused by humiliation of their lack of endowment.

You probably know which category your small endowed husband falls in.  If he falls in the first category, it’s probably best not to bring up the subject for the reasons stated by the experts – unless he brings it up.  But, if he falls in the second or third categories, you can probably have a lot of fun with this.

Before you begin, however, remember those of us who are a little shy about our small penises may even ask you up front if you think we’re too small. “Too small” of course calls for a subjective answer. You might think his penis is small, but not too small.  Many women dismiss their husbands questions with a quick, “It’s not small!” or “size doesn’t matter!”  And the worst thing of all you can tell a small endowed man is, “You have a big one!”  These responses are not likely to have the desired effect and will more likely lead to more worry and questions.

Now let’s have some fun. Take your lover to the bedroom and ask him to remove all of his clothes while you do the same.  Then ask him to lie on his back while you lie next to him and gently stroke his penis.  Once he is fully erect, ask him if he thinks he has a below average penis.  Whatever he says, tell him that the average erect penis is about 5.5-6.0 inches in length and 4.5-5.0 inches in girth (This is the Objective part).  Now it’s time for you to measure his penis.

Measuring his Length:  Start by measuring the length of his erect penis.  All you need to do is use a ruler or measuring tape. Position the ruler or measuring tape at the base of his penis and measure the entire length from the base of the penis to the top of the head. (Note:  Don’t press the ruler in or measure it along the side of his penis or the measurements will not be accurate)

Measuring his Girth:  Next measure the girth or thickness of his penis.  For this step, you need to use a piece of string (or something similar) or a soft measuring tape. Gently wrap the string one time around the thickest part of the shaft/body of your erect penis (yes, it still needs to be erect!).  Mark it and then lay it out along the ruler to determine his girth.

NOTE:  Before anyone writes in asking where I came up with those average sizes – depending on what set of statistics you look at, you will find differing ranges for average size.   Remember guys, this is about what your wife thinks as average, and ladies, do some homework and look at varying statistics.  Personally, I tend to trust those statistics where men had their erect penises measured by a third party over some random internet poll.

OK, now that you have his exact measurements tell him what you think of his penis – and be completely honest!  (This is the Subjective part).   If he is average to above average in both categories, you can tell him so.  If he is below average in one category or both, you need to have an honest and deep discussion about his small penis, and he will be very open to it.

The reality is, we are obsessed with our cocks, and you need to share in that obsession too – at least some of the times.  We love having our cocks measured and that you know where we stand.  We also love you comparing us with your dildo, other men, etc.  Even small cocks love the attention!

And remember, there are also men who WANT to be told they have a small penis, whether they do or not.  This should be treated as any other fantasy/fetish in the bedroom between two honest and consenting adults.  My advice is, tell him what he wants to hear, but make sure that he plays along with any of your fantasies the next time.

If someone special to you possesses a small penis, it is always best to discuss this fact openly with other aspects of your love life. If you are in love, you should be able to discuss anything with your lover — especially sex. And if you are both thinking the same thoughts about his penis anyway, it’s best to just get it out in the open and deal with it.

What are the potential benefits of having this discussion with your partner?  Well, I can’t answer for everyone, but in my own relationship, we have noticed the following:

(1)  For me personally, there was a huge sense of relief because I no longer had to “pretend” I wasn’t someone I wasn’t sexually.

(2)  My wife was able to openly acknowledge my smaller size and accepted it

(3)  It allowed us to freely and openly discuss how my small size affected our sex lives.  As a result, we were able to compensate for my small size by: (a) I began focusing a lot more on orally and manually pleasing my wife, (b) We began incorporating larger dildos which we both reallyenjoy  and gave us an added dimension to our sex lives that was missing, and (c) We began experimenting with sexual positions that are more ideally suited for the lesser endowed man, which made sex much more enjoyable for both of us.

(4)  Our overall sexual communication in all areas was greatly improved.  We have no taboo subjects.

So, the bottom line question is, should you broach the subject with your husband?  You know your husband best, and probably have a good sense of whether or not this is a topic he can handle.  If you go through the steps outlined above and get to the subjective part and you tell him he has a small one, judge his reaction.  If he becomes aroused, you are probably safe to proceed.

Have you measured your husband’s penis and told him he’s small?

Do you have any thoughts about this? Please write me a comment, or contact me via my about about page.

You can stay tuned by liking my facebook page or following me on twitter.

As a reaction to several mails I got, I published a 110 page book: “How to begin cuckolding” – I put all my experiences in this book, starting from 0 to become a successful cuckold…




One comment

  1. I have known I had a small penis since I was in high school. I denied it for years until a female sex partner told me I was small. That really opened up a new world for me. I accepted my size and stopped pretending. Later my wife confirmed that I was smaller than she would like.

    It’s always best to be open and honest with your partners. It’s a major turn off when some tells me “nice big cock” because I know they are lying and playing me for a fool.

    Just a few days ago I was Skyping with someone and they said, “You have a great little cock…just right for sucking with gagging”. That really turned me on because they were honest about my size but weren’t derogatory. Not everyone wants or needs a huge cock to be sexually satisfied.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: