Part 5: A Woman’s Guide to Creating a Cuckolding Fantasy World – Cuckold psychology

Please read part I here, and part II here. Part III (penis size and cuckoldry) is here. Part IV is here.

The Psychology of the Cuckold

As mentioned above, cuckolding is more a state of mind than a penis measurement and there are definitely psychological components to it.  And, though the psychological aspects of cuckolding are complex and beyond the scope of this article, here are some of the basics.  The psychological dynamics of cuckolding are indeed fascinating, and often involve both submission and humiliation.   If you ask women to describe their ideal man, most will invariably include the world “alpha” in the description.  Unfortunately not all men are alpha males, and some men like Kurt, are alpha outside the bedroom but crave to be submissive in the bedroom.


Many cuckolds go through an evolution in terms of their alpha/beta sexual identity.  Society generally hold the alpha male in higher esteem than submissive men, and naturally submissive males go through life trying to exhibit alpha characteristics even in the bedroom, when in fact, they are submissive.  When they are openly allowed to express their sexual submissiveness they often express relief because they no longer have to pretend to be an alpha male when they aren’t.  There is power in discovering your own identify, and if you’re married to a sexually submissive man, the best thing you can do for him is to acknowledge it.

Most people unfamiliar with cuckolding would probably say it would be very humiliating for a married man to allow his wife to have sex with other men.  The humiliation component stems from the fact that the man is deferring his sexual responsibilities to another man.  Cuckolds don’t see it that way.  They instinctively know an alpha male that is better looking, better endowed and/or better in bed can provide his wife something he is incapable of, a sexual experience she will never forget.  If his wife is a willing participants, and her lover can reach parts of her body he can never touch, and she truly finds the experience to be incredible, her own enjoyment will excite her husband to no end.

Another dimension of the psychological dynamics of cuckolding is the power exchange between the cuckold and the wife’s lover.  For the alpha bull male he too will become very excited with this type of scenario.  First, he is fucking a woman whose husband is a cuckold, submissive, smaller endowed than he is and/or perhaps only adequate in bed.  Secondly, he will be fucking a married woman which of course is taboo and adds another layer of excitement.  These factors only serve to heighten the arousal of the alpha male who will be inspired to perform at his highest level ensuring maximum pleasure for the wife.   This doesn’t mean the cuckold wants to abdicate all sexual responsibility.  On the contrary, after being with her lover, the cuckold can’t wait to have sex with his wife.  Competing with his rival will bring out the very best the cuckold has to offer too!  But, simply put, the cuckold believes his wife is entitled to have sex with a stud male whenever she wants.

Cuckolds report feeling a rollercoaster of emotions including fear, jealousy, and anxiety all of which are trumped by the indescribable erotic intensity of it all.


Do you have any thoughts about this? Please write me a comment, or contact me via my about about page.

You can stay tuned by liking my facebook page or following me on twitter.

As a reaction to several mails I got, I published a 110 page book: “How to begin cuckolding” – I put all my experiences in this book, starting from 0 to become a successful cuckold…





  1. This is an increasingly facinating series of posts


    1. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Can’t wait to see what’s next

        Liked by 1 person

  2. bambiegirl · · Reply

    My wife does have a. Alpha lover, who is athletic, have a much bigger penis than i. His penis is three times bigger than mine. Knowing he satisfies my wife in ways I cannot makes me very happy. Her girlfriends know I’m a cuckold as well as their husbands, who are all alpha males. They know I’m a submissive sissy and at times treat me as such. I’m never on their level. Anytime we socialize I end up serving the group. If we go out to dine, I always pay. Many times when we go out her lover comes along. When the men sit to watch a game , I’m in the other room with the ladies.
    When the three of us go out the alpha sits in the middle. And it is my task to keep him hard for her.


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