The Competition Advantage – Part 5: A Common Sexual Fantasy

Please read part I here! (Why men need to compete for their wives.)

Part II can be found here (A woman’s self perception)

Part III is about the biological differences between men and women and is here.

The fourth part helps understanding the competitive nature of men.


It’s no coincidence that a man’s need for competition, coupled with the biological make-up of women, result in a common and shared fantasy, that of watching.  On almost every list of Top 10 Male Fantasies one of watching their wife having sex with another man is invariably included (See the website link to below).   The reasons for this fantasy seem to be quite varied but usually include the following themes.

(1) Its taboo.  Getting sexually excited watching your wife with another man is one of those sexual arousal areas that society considers taboo but therefore creates a hidden desire to explore.


(2) She has a hidden side.  If his wife is sexually conservative, men are curious to know if there is a hidden “lioness” trapped inside her.  Consequently, men often fantasize when another man ravages his wife that she can’t help but become totally aroused and begins enjoying what he is doing and she lets loose like the husband has always wanted her to do but has never seen.

(3) He’s proud of you and aware of your many “talents.”  He notices when you are walking somewhere together how men check you out with lustful looks in their eyes.  He is well aware how these men would jump at the chance to bed you even once.  Maybe you have some special “talent” in bed, like providing him with an award winning blow job and he fantasizes watching you giving oral pleasure to another man like you do to him.

(4) Another common theme is your husband wants you to experience a man who’s bigger, or simply better than he is.   A man named Kurt describes it this way:  “I always have to win and be the best at everything.   No one can do better than I can.  If another guy eats her out better than I do, well, he’s just raised the bar, but I can do better.  But a bigger dick I can’t complete with.   Something about that really turns me on.  It’s unrealistic to think that I can be the best at everything.  There’s always going to be something another guy can give her that I can’tWhy not let her experience it?”

Strangely, women often express surprise or even shock when they learn their husband fantasies about them having sex with another man.  Yet, ironically, way up on virtually every list of Women’s Top 10 Fantasies is having sex with a stranger. (See the website link to below)  Duh, the same exact fantasy!  One need only look at the sheer volume of romance novels sold to know this one never goes out of style.  The thought of being sexually overwhelmed and taken against her will explain why fantasies about being raped (but not painfully or violently) are surprisingly prevalent.  Her libido definitely gets fired up at the idea of a gorgeous male approaching her in a dark, smoky bar and taking her back to his room for a long, hot night of wild sex.  She’ll protest as he rips her clothing off and expertly arouses her body, but on the inside, she’ll love every minute of it.  The thought of meeting a stranger for one night of great sex, where she can do anything and everything she wants, will turn her on like a light bulb.  And ladies if you think you’re alone in being interested in having sex with other men despite the fact this fantasy consistently ranks in the Top 10 of women’s fantasies, you are mistaken.  It has actually been validated by academic research.   Two University of Vermont researchers, Hicks and Leitenberg conducted a study in which 80% of married women admitted to having fantasized about having sex with men other than their husbands within the prior two months!


Do you have any thoughts about this? Please write me a comment, or contact me via my about about page.

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As a reaction to several mails I got, I published a 110 page book: “How to begin cuckolding” – I put all my experiences in this book, starting from 0 to become a successful cuckold…




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