The Competition Advantage – Part 4: Understanding the Competitive Nature of Men

Please read part I here! (Why men need to compete for their wives.)

Part II can be found here (A woman’s self perception)

Part is about the biological differences between men and women and is here.


Men are designed to compete.  They compete in every aspect of life.  Not only do they compete in their workplace, they even compete in their hobbies.  It’s hardly incidental that men enjoy watching or participating in sporting events.  This provides you with an excellent opportunity to improve your sex life and relationship, but you have to understand it.  The most important thing for you to remember is that men love to compete for their women.  Smart women understand this, while dumb women lose their men to smart women. Most men don’t have a clue why their marriages have become stagnant and predictable, but the answer lies in the absence of competition.  For many men, once a partner becomes a sure thing, he loses that competitive edge because he has “won” the contest.  The good news is, that husbands whose desire for their wives has waned, can be easily and completely reversed with the introduction of a competing male or even just the illusion of competition.

In study after study, married men responded consistently when exposed to stimuli that included another man’s attention to his wife.  This trigger awakens their basic instincts to compete and they literally rise to the occasion.  Their focus will revert back solely to their wives, and they will lose interest in other women.  The wives in some studies were able to deliberately vary their husband’s level of interest through increasing or decreasing their interaction with other men.  It was further found that when these same wives reverted back to traditional sexual practices with their husbands, the husbands began to lose interest in them again.  The mere possibility of competing for her with another man, consistently and predictably reinvigorates his desire for his wife.  These studies clearly show that men are born to compete.


Susan Gower cites one study by Hill and Leeson, which shows a clear correlation between sexual desire and the absence of the woman from the relationship, supporting the age-old axiom that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”  This pattern introduces a striking correlation between sexual denial and resultant arousal, and dramatically increases the need of a male to mate with his partner.

Interestingly, the introduction of the possibility of the woman straying sexually during her absence invoked a much stronger response in the male, to the point that it totally altered his behavior.  This study supports the belief that men even become physically aroused by the mere possibility of their wife cheating on them in their absence.  When you separate a bonded man and a woman for a time, the man will build a desire for her.  This stems not only from their separation, but can also be attributed to the possibility that she may have strayed in his absence, creating some doubt of her fidelity.  When a man has intercourse with his wife for the first time after an absence, his ejaculate will almost double in quantity, a physical response largely triggered subconsciously just by the outside chance that she has been unfaithful, and she has another man’s semen swimming inside of her.  That physical reaction is called the “sperm competition reaction,” and those orgasms experienced by men who have reunited with their mates are very powerful indeed!  Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes the cock harder, and the balls more productive, resulting in mind blowing orgasms for most men.  When his primal sperm competition reaction kicks in, it will result in sexual overdrive, and increased sperm and testosterone production as soon as he is back in your presence.  He will pursue you and even dote over you obsessively upon your return.  Once a husband feels these competitive forces awaken within him, he becomes singularly focused on pleasing his wife, and seeking her constant approval and sexual consent.

This isn’t an isolated study either.  Believe it or not, there have been countless studies of what happens when a husband actually watches his wife have sex with another man.   In his blog “Why Women Stray,” Dr. David Ley addressed issue of sperm competition as follows:  “As Christopher Ryan, author Terry Gould, and researchers Baker and Bellis have suggested, there is a biological response playing out here, that affects a male sexual drive.  After watching their wife with another man, the husband is prompted biologically to have longer, more vigorous sex, has a shorter refractory period between erections, ejaculates harder, and his ejaculate contains more sperm.  Nearly every couple I interviewed told me that after an episode of the wife having sex with another man, the couple felt like they were “in heat.”


Do you have any thoughts about this? Please write me a comment, or contact me via my about about page.

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As a reaction to several mails I got, I published a 110 page book: “How to begin cuckolding” – I put all my experiences in this book, starting from 0 to become a successful cuckold…





  1. your post is an example of “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and is intriguing!


  2. […] The fourth part helps understanding the competitive nature of men. […]


  3. […] The fourth part helps understanding the competitive nature of men. […]


  4. […] The fourth part helps understanding the competitive nature of men. […]


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