Communication and the small penis

How many of you (men and women) have had an open dialogue about “your” small penis?  Men often times avoid the subject at all costs – not wanting to be thought of as “less than a man” or that he doesn’t “measure up” as a man.  Men are also often terrified about being called out by their lovers for having a small penis as well. Hopefully, this blog will help you to start viewing your small endowment in a more positive light – helping you to escape those negative thoughts.  One way to help you on the path to accepting your penis size is to talk about it with your lover in an open and honest way.


Women also avoid the subject at all costs too because they are afraid of hurting his feelings. A common statement from women is, “If I tell him he has a small penis, isn’t that degrading his manhood?”  But if you ask a woman, “If you had small breasts, and your partner told you that, would that be degrading to you?” They typically respond with “Of course not, because it’s the truth.” See my point? It’s time for both men and women to stop viewing the small penis in a negative light and start accepting and celebrating it.

So a persistent question is, is it ever OK to be honest and tell a man he has a small penis?  The answer depends on the man and the situation. In most cases, it’s probably best to err on the side of honesty.  Most men who have a small penis have already realized this fact. If you are in love, you should be able to discuss anything with your lover — especially sex. And, if your partner has already admitted to you that he has a small penis, trust me, it took a lot of courage on his part to admit it to you. Besides, if you are both thinking the same thoughts about his penis anyway, it’s best to just get it out in the open and talk about it.

I read a blog recently that was written by a former female sex therapist, and I thought it was very appropriate to this discussion.  Here is what she wrote:

“As I wrote before, some of my clients were couples. One couple I worked with was very typical. He felt he had a small penis and often wondered about his wife’s ex-boyfriends — sure they were all more endowed than he. His wife ignored his anxiety and tried to just comfort him with the typical talking points: “I don’t think it’s small” and “It doesn’t matter to me.” Both were swimming against their relationship. The key was getting her to open up about sex and to objectify men as sex objects — just for a moment — so that she might begin to understand everything from his perspective. Her husband did have a small penis (4.5 inches in length and 4 inches in girth — measured by his wife in my office). Once she admitted to her husband that his erect penis was below average, he actually seemed a little aroused (no pun intended).”

Surprised? Don’t be. Many men who are small endowed and have come to accept it, get extremely turned on when their partners tell them they have a small penis. That may be difficult for women to understand, so why is that? Because it provides important affirmation of what they already know to be true, but hearing it from their partner is both significant and erotic because they know that their partner is being honest with them and accepting what they have. For some reason, women are surprised to learn this, but generally, most are pleasantly surprised too. Another reason why this may turn on your partner is because it’s the eroticization of a negative feeling. What this means simply is where the thought of having a small penis previously produced negative thoughts, he has learned to mentally view his small endowment in a positive light, and this demonstrates he is experiencing good feelings about his penis, which is a very positive and healthy thing. So, what’s the worst thing you should tell a small endowed man? That his penis is big, looks big, or feels big. Trust me, all he hears if you say any of those things is, “Honey, I wish you had a big one.”

So, if you are a man, have you had a discussion about your penis size with your lover?  If so, how did it go?  If not, why not?  And, if you are a woman, have you discussed your lover’s penis size with him? If so, how did it go?  And if not, why not?


Do you have any thoughts about this? Please write me a comment, or contact me via my about about page.

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Furthermore, I published a 110 page book: “How to begin cuckolding” – I put all my experiences in this book, starting from 0 to become a successful cuckold…





  1. Hi Steve.

    Just getting around to reading some of your previous posts – I really enjoy them.

    Yes, I recently shared with my wife that I actually have a small penis. It actually went very well. She knew based on previous sexual relationships, but never wanted to “hurt” my manhood. Initially, after learning my penis only measured 4.5″ with average being 5-6″ she told me she was “sorry”, but her now knowing how much it excites me that she knows has been wonderful for our sex life.

    The big thing is recently I let her see me naked…and see my small penis. Just like what I wrote on the “locker room” post, I would do the same even at home! However, just the other day I asked her if she had ever seen my penis prior to sex. She coyly replied, “no, you are always so secretive with it”. So, I dropped the towel. She defintiely confirmed it is small – of course, that got me excited! 😉



    1. Teasing is always hot!



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